Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize