he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I currently don't understand fingers.
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