How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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