Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize