I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize