would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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