I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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