I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize