she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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