I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize