I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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