If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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