you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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