I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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