We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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