I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize