You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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