I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you guys were way drunker than both of me
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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