Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
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I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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