I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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