What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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