I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
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