Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
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You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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