I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize