god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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