She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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