There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize