Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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