Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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