Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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