Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just found a bag of teeth...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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