i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize