ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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