For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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