Do you still have your period?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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