Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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