I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize