by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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