You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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