You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
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at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
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