I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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