When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize