Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
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I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
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Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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