I got chris browned last night
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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