32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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