How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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