Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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