So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize