I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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