I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
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why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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